Gadsya

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you
shared something special, ones who will always mean something.
There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you
lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're
with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who
everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just
wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the
chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime
partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can
actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has
to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to
settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little
niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When
you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who
you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big;
inconsequential become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready
and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good;
it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint
of that fact..

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll
be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most
perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have
burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work
because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make
sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you
find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your
approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you
want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And
mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're
single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be
married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've
changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first
person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here
today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am
and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest
"What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that
got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your
marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature
enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is
just
another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your
marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so
often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been,"
but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which
case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your
memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your
lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do
if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very
existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder,
what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if
you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just
might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your
"the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference.
If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and
you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able
to
say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."


Cheers,

Gadsya